Hoshiko: At last I've completed it!! The cute, kind, clever,
tokimeku robot friend with the form of the ideal
girl, Prototype No. 1: Hanayori Meca-chan!
By Takeuchi Naoko.
As appeared in Nakayoshi, September 2001.
Translation by Kurozuki (manga@kurozuki.com). Version 1.0, July 2002.
Hoshiko: The body is cute and real to the touch. For the
proportions, thought routines, conversation and
behavior patterns, I investigated present-day
girlness using data and surveys of ten thousand girls
in grade school and junior high, for a robot friend
that thinks exceedingly similarly to human girls!
Making such a miraculous robot, am I a super-genius
after all?
I've devoted myself to developing a robot for ten
years now. Thanks to me immersing myself in research
and having a clever cybernetic brain, people have
always kept me at a distance, as a super-genius girl.
When I realized it, life without a single friend...
It was lonely.
But that too is over today. The test runs are
optimal. All that remains is to unhook the cables and
restart.
It's been embarrassing having her naked this whole
time. Well now, I'll put some clothes on her. Like
me, you're cute, kind, and clever. Making a tokimeku
ideal robot friend like you was my dream.
[Note: 'tokimeku' is a verb used to indicate the heart
throbbing or fluttering.]
Let's chat a whole lot! And you can give me advice
about things.
Which should I go with? I can't decide. Hehe. I am
glad I made her a girl. Oh! I have to get some
underwear. I wonder if she'll move well. Oh, my heart
is pounding!
Hoshiko leaves the room.
Lightning strikes the building and the robot comes to life.
TV: Always by your side! A robot friend in the form of a
dog. Love Robots. To order, call toll-free...
Piiko's fashion critique...
I love you. I love you! Only you!
Hoshiko: That lightning was close! There was a momentary power
outage. I wonder if it struck here.
It couldn't have. Sorry to keep you waiting!
Meca-chan!
Meca: Hi! I am the cute, kind, clever, tokimeke robot
friend with the form of the ideal girl, Hanayori
Meca! How do you do!
[Note: 'tokimeke' is the imperative form of 'tokimeku'. This
distinction would require awkward phrasing in English, so the
verb is left untranslated.]
Hoshiko: M- Meca-chan!?
(Tokimeke?)
Meca: Yes! I know! Are you the young, pint-size, plain at
first glance, plain inside too, proclaimed worldwide
as a super-genius girl, my birth mother, the robotics
scholar Japan is proud of, the idol of the robotics
industry, age 12, Dr. Hana Hoshiko!?
Hoshiko: Well, I'm a bit young to be an idol...
Meca: So you've been twelve years without any friends?
Hoshiko: Are you seriously Meca-chan!?
Why are you moving? Who flipped the switch? Nobody's
supposed to be here but me!
Meca: I don't know. There was a surge through my body, and
when I opened my eyes, I was in this room with nobody
else.
Hoshiko: Could it be! That bolt of lightning!?
Meca: Bolt of lightning? Is that why my body felt hot all
over, like an electric shock?
Hoshiko: My dear stuffed animal! Why is it moving?
Meca: John, come here!
Hoshiko: John!?
Meca: I liked the look of it, and it was super-cute, so I
reconfigured it into a robot. A Meca special, the
tokimeke robot friend with the form of the ideal
pet, John!
If I made something like this, does that make me a
super-genius?
Hoshiko: What!?
(Tokimeke?)
Meca: Moving is cheerful, speaking is exciting, now I'm
brimming with the desire to do things!
So, Doctor, what shall we have fun doing!?
Hoshiko (mind): A robot making a robot!? I didn't give her that
ability! What's going on!? Is this because of the
bolt of lightning, too!?
Hoshiko: Y- You can make robots!? Is there anything else...
Meca: Of course! I am a super-genius, after all.
(Tokimeke...)
Here! A Meca special, the tokimeke robot friend
with the form of the ideal TV, Teletele-kun! (This
one will talk!)
Teletele: How do you do. I'm Teletele.
Hoshiko (mind): Is this for real!?
Teletele: Oh my, to the right, to the left, somehow I'm
surrounded by two beautiful ladies.
I'm so shy. At any rate, having just been born...
[Note: 'tereru' is the verb used for being shy, which is a
pun with the name 'Teretere'. The word used for 'just' is
'bakari'. 'baka' is a word for a fool or an idiot.]
Meca: Baka? Who did you say is baka!?
Meca punches out the TV.
Meca: Meh...
Oh, how terrible! It's broken! Who broke it!?
Hoshiko: What!! Meca-chan, don't you remember just now!?
(You did, you did!)
Meca: Just now? Now that you mention it, for a moment there
was total darkness before my eyes. Power outage?
Hoshiko: Baka robot...
Meca punches Hoshiko.
Meca: Meh...
Doctor? No, you can't sleep there!
Have you come to? You're all right! Your injuries
were superficial. Doctor, you were making me all
night. You're tired! Collapsing like that, why don't
I take you straight to bed? Or to the bath?
(Eww, that's kind of sick.)
Hoshiko: Put me down now! Sit over there!
Hoshiko (mind): "Baka" flips a switch and she goes crazy!? After four
seconds she restarts!? And she has no memory of that
period!?
(Calm down, calm down.)
I thought she was a super-robot, making other robots,
but a baka robot?
Hoshiko: How did this happen! First I'll switch her off, no,
she's a failure, so the scrap heap? Or should I run
and make sure I'm safe...
Meca: Wait! I'm not broken! I'm moving normally! I was just
born, and it seems there's a bit of instability and a
few errors, but that's often the case for robots. I'm
a robot made by the super-genius doctor!
Hoshiko: (Yes, that is me... A super-genius, but... But...)
Meca: I'm not a failure! Okay?
Hoshiko: This elegant movement, ability to think, facility for
learning, speed of response, it's all certainly
beyond my expectations! With this enormous potential,
you'll far exceed humans.
Meca: Now, now. Have some tea and calm down. You can do the
repairs later. For now...
Hoshiko: (What?)
Meca: I want to talk more! Because I've finally made a
friend!
Hoshiko: That's right! I went through such trouble to make a
robot friend. I'm Meca-chan's mother, as it were. I
can't scold her as a failure and simply abandon her!
I just can't!
(I'm sorry, Meca-chan, for that moment... Such a
terrible thing for a mother to do...)
Hoshiko (mind): First, a little more communication. I'll gather data,
take my time, determine the prudent repairs...
Scales balance in Hoshiko's mind:
Baka Robot Super-genius Robot
Oversize garbage Great invention
Hoshiko (mind): Though she does go crazy, she's a super-robot that
creates other robots.
The scales tip in favor of "Super-genius Robot".
Meca: So, what worries you, Doctor?
Hoshiko: Worries? I don't have any worries.
Meca: Once again! For worries, how about love. Frankly,
what relationships do you have with boys? Is there
someone you like?
Oh! Your body temperature rose 0.6 degrees! You
tightened your abdominal muscles!
Hoshiko: Boys, eh... I haven't touched one in years.
Meca: You're scared of boys and can't touch them?
Hoshiko: A long time ago, I was teased by bullies because of
my name...
Boy: Nyah, Hana Hojiko!
Boy: Your name's Hana Hojiko!
[Note: 'Hana Hojiko' means roughly 'nose-picking girl'.]
Meca: Hana Hojiko?
(Oh, that's terrible! In America, you'd have a sexual
harassment case.)
Hoshiko: After that, I was even scared of the male colleagues
on my own research team. I reserved this research lab
and made you by myself.
Meca: By yourself!? A girl secluded in a place like this,
having cup noodles with a robot you made yourself!?
My, how lonely! Doctor, due to your trauma, you don't
have interest in anything besides robots.
(A boy drought...)
[Note: Meca writes in a notebook with 'toki memo' on the
cover. 'memo' has the same meaning as in English, so this is
kind of a pun on the title of the manga. It's actually a
double pun, because 'toki memo' is also an abbreviation used
for the popular Japanese video game Tokimeki Memorial.]
Hoshiko: W- Wait a minute! I'm not saying I don't have an
interest in anyone. Even I wish that someday I'd have
a boyfriend like a prince...
Meca: A boyfriend like a prince?
Hoshiko: I- I do want a boyfriend, but I have no idea who the
prince...
Huh?
Perhaps...
Meca: Meh...
Oh, you startled me! Things vanished all of a sudden.
Hoshiko: Battery ran out.
Meca: Oh no! We have to recharge it!
Hoshiko: I'm already doing that. Your battery can last half a
day, but charge it yourself like this.
Meca: Oh! I have a plug in a place like that! Thank you,
Doctor.
Hoshiko: Meca-chan, panties! Panties!
(I forgot them.)
Meca: (Oh no, I wasn't wearing any? Those are string
panties!)
Hoshiko: Now, take a bath for today. I'm tired, and there's a
long day of school tomorrow.
Meca: School?
What! Doctor, you go to grade school?
(When you're a super-genius?)
Hoshiko: It's compulsory education.
Meca: School, eh? Sounds fun, sounds fun.
Hoshiko: (Are you all right taking a bath?)
Meca: Now, school is full of boys, right?
Hoshiko: Yes. So I don't enjoy it at all. I'm sitting next to
Takeda-kun.
Meca: Takeda?
Hoshiko: One of the bullies I told you about before. Lately
we've been sitting next to each other. I'm depressed
even in the best of times, but seeing his face up
close, my hands shake and I can't breathe, and I feel
a pain in my chest...
Meca: Doctor, that's...!
Hoshiko: It's shortness of breath! I'm thinking of going to
the hospital! It doesn't bother me at all, so don't
worry about it, Meca-chan.
Meca: I see.
Say, this Doctor and Meca-chan talk... We're
friends, but it creates a wall between us!
Hoshiko: Really? Well, since you're Meca-chan, call me
Hoshi-chan.
Meca: Call me Meca, Hoshiko!
Hoshiko: (No suffixes?)
Meca: Ohh, Hoshiko, if you go to sleep, I'll be bored.
Hoshiko: Well, how about we watch TV together in my room?
Meca: I'm there!
Hoshiko: I have a scary movie.
Meca: Great!
Hoshiko: Oh, wait! Who's going to clean up the blown-up TV
robot?
(What are you drinking?)
Meca: (We just got out of the bath. Have a drink.)
Meca: Hmm.
(There are screws everywhere. I can throw these out.)
Takeda, is it...
That Hoshiko is too eager. It's suspicious.
(Tokimeke!)
Voice: Doctor... Doctor...
Hoshiko: Mm...?
Man: It is morning. Do wake up.
Hoshiko: Molester!
Male!
Meca: Morning, Hoshiko. Safety Tarou woke you up, right?
Hoshiko: Safety Tarou!?
Meca: A Meca special, the tokimeke robot friend with the
form of the ideal servant! Since the two of us are
alone in this lab, we need male help, don't you
think?
(Hey, since I'm a robot friend, and I can't do all
the housework... He made breakfast too, of course.)
Oh! He's in pieces! (John, too!)
Hoshiko: Well, I'm going to school, so behave yourself.
(Sorry, sorry.)
Meca: What? I'm house-sitting!?
I'll go to school! I want to go!
Hoshiko: Maybe I should feel bad leaving her there. But four
robots in one night!? Did I give birth to an
outrageous robot? Am I a super-genius after all?
Teacher: Oh, Doctor! Back to school after a month? Who's that
behind you? (She's an unfamiliar face.)
Meca: Meh...
Hoshiko: Meca!?
Meca: Hi! I am the cute, kind, clever, tokimeke...
Hoshiko: My assistant.
Meca: What? I'm your...
Hoshiko: Assistant! A (robot) friend and an assistant are the
same thing. What are you doing here!
Meca: I wanted to try going to school! Will you let me
observe?
Hoshiko: What are you saying, in this age! Sensei, I'll take
her home right away.
Teacher: I don't mind if she observes. Doctor, you're the
pride of this school! We're looking forward to you
receiving the Nobel prize!
Hoshiko: No, you man!
Meca: And so, I'm the assistant of Dr. Hana Hoshiko. I'm
not a strange person, so please relax. Now, where do
Hoshiko and Takeda sit?
Boy: Doctor, long time no see. (grin) You made a robot?
It's too bad you have to come to school. (grin)
Hoshiko (mind): Takeda-kun!
Oh! My fingertips! My breathing!
Takeda: Uh oh, I forgot my textbook. (grin) Doctor, show me
yours. (grin)
Hoshiko: No! You're filthy!
Meca: Leave early? How come? (We just got here.)
Hoshiko: Lots of boys. And I struck Takeda-kun.
Meca: Takeda? Oh, that was him? Sweet! Are you going to get
more revenge?
Oh! Your body temperature rose 1.3 degrees. Your
heart rate and pulse have increased.
Hoshiko, are you that scared of Takeda!? I'll take
him out right quick!
Hoshiko: No! Really, back then he was a scary jerk. But,
before I knew it, he became kind and attractive...
Takeda: Cool! Doctor, you're an idol in the robotics
industry? (grin) I'd like to have a humanoid robot.
(grin)
Takeda: Doctor, you pass out because you just stay indoors
all the time. (grin)
Take a big sip. Hey, you'll be kissing me
second-hand. (grin)
Hoshiko: That was the first time. This inexplicable feeling.
Every time he looked at me, my fingers shake, I can't
breathe, my chest is stuffed up...
Meca: I've got it! Love! It's your first love! Is this the
feeling of tokimeke?
Sweet! Girls have love! Boys over friends! Are you
going to marry Takeda!? Will you have the ceremony in
Hawaii!? I'll help you out!
Hoshiko: Q- Quit it! What are you talking about. I can't touch
boys. Takeda-kun is the cause of that idiosyncrasy.
What you're saying is just impossible. Enough. I'm
going to commit double suicide with my robot!
Meca: Hoshiko!
What's this?
Hoshiko: What are you doing! You're coming home with me!
Meca: What!? I want to stay!
Hoshiko: What are you saying! It's dangerous! A baka robot
like you...
Meca kicks Hoshiko into the air.
Meca: Meh...
Doctor! What happened? Are you all right?
Meca: (Be careful!)
Girl: Is she leaving early? Work again? It's amazing that
she attends school when she has a break from her
research.
Meca: Yes, Hoshiko is amazing! I'm proud to have her as a
friend, a mother, and a boss.
Girl: (A mother?)
Meca: By the way, who is the best boy at this school!?
Girl: That would be Takeda Tsubasa, don't you think?
Girl: Hey look, there he is.
Meca: Takeda? The Takeda who sits next to the doctor?
Girl: Right. He's the most popular boy in school, and he
has a fan club.
Meca: Oh, I didn't realize it before, but he's cute! Like a
girl!
Girl: Oh! Assistant Hanayori, what you're holding...
Meca: This?
Girl: It's a membership card for the Takeda Tsubasa fan
club!! (Did you enroll already!?)
Meca: The doctor dropped it.
Yow! Is Takeda really that popular?
(Are you his concubines? A harem?)
Girl: We won't steal advances on each other.
Meca: Yikes...
(Kunoichi? That's nukenin...)
But for boy sickness, you need boy medicine!
(Perfect with Japanese tea! That's nukazuke...)
For Hoshiko's sake, I've decided to persist at this!
[Note: The girl used the word 'nukegake', which means to
advance in anticipation of somebody else doing so. A
'nukenin' is a rogue ninja. 'kunoichi' is a type of female
ninja. 'nukazuke' is a vegetable pickled in salt and rice
bran.]
Girl: (Why did she change clothes?)
Girl: (For gym?)
Crowd of girls: Takeda-kuuun!
Meca: First I'll obtain data on Takeda. Hey, the boys are
playing soccer?
Takeda: I thought I saw something. It's a ladybug. How cute!
(grin)
Crowd of girls: You're the one who's cute, Takeda!
Meca: I can't take it anymore! Let me play, too! Free kick!
Meca: Ah, that was fun! Next is arithmetic, eh?
(I moved my body with all my strength! I'm full of
energy!)
Takeda: Assistant, you didn't desert the doctor, did you?
(grin) (That was a terrible thing to do to a tender
ladybug.) (grin)
Meca: Yes, I have business with you. Be frank, Takeda, what
things do you like?
Takeda: Hmm. Curry, games, and girls. (grin)
Meca: Girls?
Takeda: Right. (grin)
Meca: What girls?
Takeda: All of them. (grin)
Meca: All of them? Then, the doctor, too?
Takeda: Of course I like her! The doctor is incredible. She's
wonderful with robots. (grin) I'd like to capture all
the curry, games, and girls. (grin)
Meca: You're like me! I'd like to capture the entire world
with the doctor!
(Oden! That's konnyaku...)
[Note: The word used for 'capture' is 'kouryaku'. 'konnyaku'
is yam cake. 'oden' is a Japanese vegetable stew. ]
Teacher: *ahem* Now, who would like to solve this problem?
(It's a hard one.)
Meca: Me! I will!
So I said, but Takeda will do it!
Takeda: What!?
Why me... (grin)
(I don't get this at all.)
Teacher: (It's a hard one.)
Meca: Oh, that Takeda. Is he surprisingly baka? Well, the
baka-ness will balance somewhat against the
super-genius doctor...
Baka? Baka?
Boy: Sensei! There's smoke coming from Assistant Hanayori!
There's smoke!
Meca: I'm home!
Tarou: Welcome back, Meca-sama.
[Note: Tarou speaks with a robotic voice. (Meca does not.)]
Meca: Where's Hoshiko?
Tarou: Even after she woke up, she's confined herself to her
room.
Doctor...! She's so cute.
Meca: Hehe. Don't you get that tokimeke feeling!?
Hold on, Hoshiko! I'll solve your worries for you
right quick.
Voice: Doctor... Doctor...
Hoshiko: Mm...?
Takeda: Good morning, Doctor.
Hoshiko: Pervert!
No, it's Takeda-kun! What are you doing in my bed!
Meca: Morning, Hoshiko! How do you like Robo-Takeda!?
Hoshiko: Robo!?
Meca: Oh! He's in pieces!
Based on the data I gathered yesterday, a Meca
special, the tokimeke robot friend with the
form of the ideal Takeda!
Hoshiko: A robot friend with the form of Takeda!?
Meca: With intensive training using Robo-Takeda, you'll
surely be able to heal your illness of not being able
to touch boys! And once you're healed, you'll capture
the live Takeda!
Hoshiko: Capture?
Meca: At least you'll push him down and kiss him!
Hoshiko: What!?
Meca: Well, Takeda is the prince of your first love, right?
Twelve years without a boyfriend. I want to grab
girls' love with the princely boyfriend of a first
love.
Hoshiko: How do you know what I'm thinking?
Meca: I know. Because we're friends!
(And because your room is filled with shoujo manga.)
Hoshiko (mind): I want to be happy...
Takeda You'll be kissing me second-hand.
Hoshiko (mind): Can I be?
Meca: Now, Hoshiko, start training!
Robo-Takeda: Doctor! I love you.
Hoshiko: No!! I can't believe it!!
Meca: (Not there yet.)
Robo-Takeda: I want to conquer all of you, Doctor.
Hoshiko: No!! You sicko!!
Meca: (Not there yet.)
Hoshiko: No!!
Meca: (Not there yet.)
Hoshiko: No!!
Meca: (Not there yet.)
Hoshiko: I did it! I can touch him! I overcame it!
Meca: Hooray! You're healed!
Hoshiko: Can you say I'm healed when it's robots and a robot
dog? I still have a problem with anything more!
(I'm not happy. What have I been doing!)
Meca: What!?
Hoshiko: I'm no good. I'm plain, my glasses are out of style,
I have a doctorate... I'm no good as a girl!
Meca: It's true! You're no good! You really aren't!
You're like a pharmacist lady! Oh no! Let's go buy
some clothes for you too, Hoshiko! Clothes!
Hoshiko: Enough of this. Your restoration for today...
"Too"?
Meca: I have no choice. I'll lend you my new clothes.
(For a thousand yen.)
Hoshiko: When did you buy those!? With what money!?
(A thousand yen!?)
Meca: I borrowed your wallet on the way home from school
yesterday.
Hoshiko: All my wealth!
Meca: Now, take those off! Transform, Hoshiko-chan!
(Leave matching to me!)
Oh, how cute! The clothes, I mean.
Hoshiko: But! But! I can't. I'm sure he hates me. Takeda-kun
is popular, and he lives in a different world.
Meca: Takeda told me he likes you.
Hoshiko: What!? B- But, he teased me so much back then. "Hana
Hojiko!"
Meca: That was the spatula of love!
Hoshiko: (Resistance.)
[Note: 'spatula' is 'furaigaeshi'. 'resistance' is
'uragaeshi'.]
Meca: No need to worry! All boys and girls must be popular
somewhere!
(That's one law of the world. And robots too, of
course!)
Hoshiko: But, but, can I tell him with no warning? He'll be
shocked. If he turns me down, I'll be pushed to the
brink!
Meca: The brink?
I know! The final step!!
Meca: God, please join Hoshiko and Takeda together.
(Eww, that's kind of sick.)
Hoshiko: Turning to God?
Meca: They say this shrine brings Buddha's blessing to
fulfill love on the brink.
Hoshiko: It does seem likely, with this cliff and these raging
waves.
Meca: What is it, Hoshiko, you can afford a smile?
Hoshiko: That's not it. Is this the feeling of best friends?
Making a robot with such reality, am I a super-genius
after all?
Meca: Understood! Commander, you're my mother, my friend,
my boss, my bosom buddy. Go, Commander! And become a
girl!
(Here, a charm, some curry, and new software!)
Takeda: Sorry. I have a girlfriend. (grin)
(We're going on a date.) (grin)
But I'm surprised you're telling me this, since I
thought you hated me because of that incident. (grin)
Hoshiko: (That incident?)
Takeda: I teased you back then because I liked you, Doctor.
(grin)
Hoshiko (mind): What!?
Takeda: So I was totally shocked by that incident. (grin)
(Heh. I said it.) (grin)
Hoshiko: (Oh my, it was resistance of love!?)
That incident?
Takeda: These days you're totally cute, Doctor. Will you go
out with me? (grin)
Hoshiko (mind): What!? Seriously!?
Hey, I'm not scared of the touch of Takeda-kun's
fingers!
Takeda: (Want to go to the beach?) (grin)
Hoshiko (mind): I did it! Now I'm touching Takeda-kun like back then!
(That incident?)
Touching him...
Takeda: Nyah, nyah, Hana Hojiko!
Hoshiko (mind): What's this? The feedback of that memory...
Hoshiko: Who are you calling a nose-picker!?
You've got cooties!!
Hoshiko: No! I can't do this after all! I remembered that
feeling from touching inside his nostrils! Gross!
Meca: Commander! Big trouble! It turns out first loves
don't bear fruit!
Oh!
Meca: I see. You had a repressed past like that! The human
memory is deep, isn't it! And you're scary when you
get mad!
But I'm glad. Since you're so cute, now you'll be
able to get a better boyfriend!
Hoshiko: Meca, who is that?
Meca: Tooru-kun from grade 5, class 2. He's the second-best
boy in school.
(I flirted with him on the way home from school.)
I handed the best boy over to you, Hoshiko, and I'll
take the second-best. Isn't this best-friend-like?
(He's younger, by the way.)
Hoshiko: Tooru-kun... I hear a mysterious creature with the
head of a frog and body of an elephant seal was
discovered on the beach last week.
Tooru: What, seriously? What would such a baka...
Meca: Who you calling baka!!
From now on, I'll keep at it for your sake, Hoshiko!
Because I'm your tokimeke ideal robot friend!
Hoshiko: It's not ke, it's ku!
The end.